In a candid conversation on BBC Radio 4’s *Desert Island Discs*, Jessie Buckley, the acclaimed Irish actress, shared how her profound love for acting helped her navigate the turbulent waters of an eating disorder and depression during her teenage years. Buckley, who is currently a frontrunner for the Academy Award for Best Actress for her role as Agnes Hathaway in *Hamnet*, described acting as “like water to me,” highlighting its crucial role in her recovery and mental well-being.
A Journey Through Darkness
At 36, Buckley reflects on her formative years spent in Killarney, County Kerry, and her eventual move to Norfolk, where her passion for the performing arts blossomed. She revealed that acting was not merely a career for her but a vital lifeline that provided solace during her struggles. “It was essential,” she stated, underscoring the therapeutic impact of her craft. The actress, who has also enjoyed success as a Mercury Music Prize-nominated singer, noted that her experiences were not without pain, yet she expressed a profound sense of gratitude for them.
“I didn’t know how to be alive the way I wanted to be, and it was difficult,” she admitted, asserting that her struggles have shaped her into a more empathetic individual. “You can’t walk through life not being affected, but you can transform that into something that allows you to be more human and alive in the way that you want to be.”
The Turning Point
Buckley candidly recounted her fears upon relocating to London, where she grappled with the reality that her mental health issues could jeopardise her dreams. “There were moments where I was like, ‘if I don’t get better here, this music, this being part of theatre – I’m not going to be able to do this any more, and I probably won’t survive’,” she reflected. That moment of clarity became a catalyst for change, prompting her to make a commitment to herself: “I don’t want to sacrifice that; this is bigger than that.”
Her tenacity has paid off, as Buckley has garnered numerous accolades, including a Golden Globe and a BAFTA for her portrayal in *Hamnet*, an adaptation of Maggie O’Farrell’s award-winning novel. She described her first stage performance as “like drinking water,” emphasising how integral acting has become to her existence.
The Weight of Public Scrutiny
Buckley first captured the public’s attention as a contestant on the talent show *I’d Do Anything*, where she competed for the role of Nancy in the West End’s *Oliver!* In a previous interview with British Vogue, she discussed the harsh scrutiny she faced regarding her appearance at a young age. “I don’t like that part of it,” she lamented. “That was a young woman who’s trying to discover her body and herself, like we all do. And I wish that hadn’t happened.”
She poignantly acknowledged the pressure to conform to a specific image within the entertainment industry, a burden she felt deeply. “I was putting a brave face on, because really what I wanted to do was sing and act. And all of a sudden, you had to be a certain kind of person. And I just wasn’t, I never will be.”
A Tribute to Family
During her *Desert Island Discs* appearance, Buckley chose a heartfelt rendition of “O Holy Night,” sung by her mother, Marina, as her first track. With evident emotion, she spoke of her mother’s resilience and creativity. “My parents are no longer together, and she lives in Dublin, and she’s writing her own story right now at 60 years of age, and I’m so proud of her.”
Buckley’s journey has not only been one of personal triumph but also one of familial strength and inspiration, showcasing the profound connections that can withstand life’s challenges.
Why it Matters
Jessie Buckley’s story serves as a powerful reminder of the healing potential of art and the importance of mental health awareness. Her willingness to share her struggles highlights a broader conversation about vulnerability and resilience, particularly among young people in the public eye. As she continues to break barriers in her career, Buckley embodies the spirit of transformation, proving that even in the depths of adversity, there lies the potential for growth, understanding, and ultimately, empowerment.
