Tommy Dorfman Calls Out Transphobia on a Flight, Highlighting the Need for Respect and Understanding

Ben Thompson, Culture Editor
4 Min Read
⏱️ 3 min read

In a powerful display of resilience, Tommy Dorfman, the star of *13 Reasons Why*, took to Instagram to expose the transphobic remarks made by a fellow passenger during a recent flight. The actor, who came out as transgender in 2021, shared the incident alongside her reflections on the broader implications of such disrespectful behaviour.

A Disturbing Encounter

Dorfman’s weekend post revealed a series of offensive text messages sent by a middle-aged man seated next to her in first class. The man’s texts, which were captured in photos shared by Dorfman, included derogatory comments about her identity. “I am in the first aisle of first class. Guess what is sitting next to me? A f***ing transsexual in the midst of going from a man to a woman,” read one particularly shocking message.

This individual’s disdainful remarks didn’t stop there; he lamented the “bad luck” of sitting beside her, expressing a wish for a more traditionally attractive companion. The extent of his insensitivity was further demonstrated as he described the experience as “two and a half hours of sitting next to this freak.”

Social Media Reactions

Dorfman’s post quickly gained traction, sparking a wave of support from her followers and friends. Among the responses, one of the man’s acquaintances, identified as Samantha, urged compassion, reminding him that many people in his life belong to the LGBTQ+ community and deserve kindness. “Just remember many people you love are LGBTQ+ and this country sucks for them right now. Be kind!” she implored.

In a moment of levity, Dorfman noted a humorous exchange where another friend of the man responded to the derogatory comments with a quip, showcasing the absurdity of the situation. “Dave kinda tore with this,” she remarked, highlighting the contrast between support and bigotry.

Dorfman’s Powerful Message

In her heartfelt caption, Dorfman addressed the complexities of identity and the societal pressures surrounding it. She acknowledged that while she may not always ‘pass’ in the conventional sense, her journey is about finding alignment and autonomy in her own skin, rather than conforming to others’ expectations. “The audacity of this man so blatantly blasting off texts about me… only reaffirms the choices I’ve made for myself to feel safe and comfortable in my body and spirit,” she wrote.

Dorfman also touched on the broader societal implications of such incidents, recognising the challenges faced by transgender individuals, particularly in America. “This does come at the cost of safety and comfort in the world… and that’s not without consequence internally and externally,” she added, emphasising the need for understanding and support.

A Pattern of Discrimination

This incident isn’t an isolated one for Dorfman. In 2023, she alleged that staff from Delta Airlines misgendered her repeatedly, labelling it a “human rights violation.” The airline did not respond to requests for comment regarding the earlier incident, raising concerns about systemic issues within the travel industry when it comes to the treatment of transgender individuals.

Why it Matters

Tommy Dorfman’s experience serves as a stark reminder of the pervasive transphobia that exists in society today. Her willingness to confront and share these experiences publicly not only raises awareness but also fosters a dialogue about respect and acceptance. In an era where visibility and representation are crucial, her actions encourage individuals to challenge bigotry and advocate for a world where everyone can feel safe and valued, regardless of their identity. As we navigate a landscape marked by division, stories like Dorfman’s illuminate the path towards understanding and compassion.

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Ben Thompson is a cultural commentator and arts journalist who has written extensively on film, television, music, and the creative industries. With a background in film studies from Bristol University, he spent five years as a culture writer at The Guardian before joining The Update Desk. He hosts a popular podcast exploring the intersection of art and society.
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