As Valentine’s Day approaches, the familiar scene of heart-shaped balloons, extravagant gifts, and romantic dinners takes centre stage. Yet, amidst the flurry of social media posts and public displays of affection, one ancient philosopher offers a refreshing take on love that transcends these fleeting gestures. Aristotle, the revered Greek thinker who lived from 384 to 322 BC, believed that true love is not defined by grandiose displays but by a steadfast commitment to nurture and uplift one another in everyday life.
The Essence of Love According to Aristotle
Aristotle’s exploration of love, particularly in his foundational work *Nicomachean Ethics*, provides profound insights into the nature of relationships. He argued that love is less about dramatic expressions and more about the continuous support and growth shared between partners. Rather than relying on singular acts of passion, Aristotle emphasized the importance of daily acts of care and commitment.
In his view, love is an ongoing practice that requires both individuals to strive for their own betterment, as well as that of their partner. This symbiotic relationship fosters not only personal growth but also a deeper connection that is grounded in mutual respect and understanding.
Five Key Principles of Love
Aristotle outlined five essential elements that characterise genuine love, starting with a strong foundation of self-love. This concept, far from promoting narcissism, encourages individuals to extend their appreciation for themselves to their partners. Here’s a closer look at his five steps:
1. **Promote Each Other’s Good**: True love involves the desire to see your partner thrive, just as you would wish for your own success.
2. **Ensure Safety and Security**: Protecting your beloved’s well-being is as vital as safeguarding your own.
3. **Enjoy Shared Time**: Love flourishes in shared experiences, where both individuals find joy in each other’s company and in creating lasting memories.
4. **Pursue Rational Desires**: Both partners should strive for noble goals that enrich their lives and relationships, steering clear of harmful or trivial pursuits.
5. **Share Joys and Sorrows**: A loving relationship is marked by empathy; recognising and sharing in each other’s emotional states strengthens the bond.
These principles, when embodied, create a framework for love that transcends superficiality and fosters a deeper, more meaningful connection.
Love as a Dynamic Practice
For Aristotle, love is not a passive feeling but an active pursuit requiring effort and skill. He equated love to craftsmanship, where both partners work diligently to enhance their relationship. This pursuit of personal growth ensures that each individual becomes a better partner, thereby enriching the relationship as a whole.
In this light, extravagant gestures on a single day may not accurately reflect the depth of one’s feelings. Rather, it is the consistent actions taken over time—supporting one another, fostering understanding, and growing together—that truly exemplify love. Aristotle’s wisdom reminds us that “one swallow does not make spring,” suggesting that fleeting moments of romance cannot replace the enduring commitment that characterises a profound relationship.
Why it Matters
In a world increasingly enamoured with grand displays of affection, Aristotle’s insights encourage us to rethink what it means to love. His philosophy advocates for a shift from one-time gestures to a lifelong commitment of mutual growth and care. As we embrace the season of love, let us remember that the most powerful expressions of affection are often found in the daily acts of kindness and support we offer to those we cherish. True love, as Aristotle taught, is a journey of self-improvement and shared happiness—a lesson that remains as relevant today as it was over two millennia ago.
