In a heartfelt exploration of fatherhood and cultural identity, Lanre Bakare embarks on a mission to master the art of caring for his daughters’ hair. With guidance from experienced stylist Jennie Roberts, he aims to transform ‘salon night’ from a source of tension into an enjoyable bonding experience. This journey is not just about hair; it’s about connection, heritage, and breaking down barriers in the realm of Black hair care.
The Quest for Knowledge
Nestled in the basement of Larry King’s salon in Marylebone, London, Bakare finds himself armed with a comb and a healthy dose of nervousness. Facing the curly hair of his daughters, aged three and four-and-a-half, he is keen to leave behind the painful experiences that typically accompany hair care. “It’s about education and simplifying the process,” says Roberts, recognising his apprehension.
For Bakare and countless Black men, hair care has primarily revolved around barbershops, where the focus is on men’s grooming. However, the complexities of managing curly hair remain a mystery to many, leading to a cycle of frustration and heartache.
Acknowledging the Past
Bakare reflects on his own childhood memories of his sisters’ hair being styled—a process often marked by discomfort and tears. “Hair trauma is very real,” he acknowledges, citing a 2021 report by Pantene that revealed a staggering 93% of individuals with afro hair have experienced discrimination. But Roberts challenges this narrative. “I’ve always embraced my curls,” she asserts, highlighting the need for a cultural shift in how Black hair is perceived and cared for.
In 2026, a growing movement of Black fathers is emerging, eager to take on the responsibilities of hair care. Jamelia Donaldson, founder of the beauty company Treasure Tress, has been instrumental in providing workshops for fathers keen to learn. “It’s about being more involved,” she explains, emphasising that many dads are recognising the importance of hair care as a meaningful way to bond with their children.
A New Approach to Hair Care
As Bakare’s session with Roberts unfolds, he learns about the crucial adjustments needed in his hair care routine. “The hair ties I’ve been using are far too tight,” he discovers, noting that they cause unnecessary pain. Roberts advises switching to softer, looser ties that won’t cling to the hair.
He also learns about proper brushing techniques. Instead of starting at the scalp, Bakare is taught to work from the ends of the hair upwards, gently detangling as he goes. The transformation is remarkable; his daughter, who usually screams at the sight of a comb, now sits patiently as he applies the new techniques.
Roberts emphasizes the importance of using the right tools, recommending a manta comb, which is specifically designed for curly hair. “It’s all about patience and technique,” she says, reminding Bakare that hair care should be a nurturing experience rather than a battleground.
Embracing the Learning Process
With a plethora of tips under his belt—from using an old T-shirt to dry the hair instead of a rough towel, to the necessity of lighter hair products—Bakare leaves the salon with a renewed sense of purpose. The next ‘salon night’ promises to be different; he is equipped with skills that not only ease the process but also enhance the joy of caring for his daughters.
The journey is not just about achieving perfect hairstyles; it’s about creating cherished memories and strengthening the father-daughter bond. Bakare’s determination to learn reflects a larger trend among Black fathers who are reshaping their roles in caregiving and embracing the intricacies of Black hair care.
Why it Matters
The significance of this narrative extends beyond hair care; it highlights a cultural renaissance where Black fathers are taking pride in their heritage and actively participating in their children’s lives. By learning to care for their daughters’ hair, these fathers are fostering connections that celebrate identity and resilience. This shift not only empowers families but also challenges societal norms, paving the way for a more inclusive understanding of fatherhood within the Black community. In doing so, they are creating a legacy of love, acceptance, and skill that will resonate for generations to come.
