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As the conflict in Ukraine continues to reshape lives and destinies, the stories of five men reveal the profound impact of war on their identities, relationships, and futures. From poets to builders, each soldier has faced the harrowing realities of combat and captivity, offering a glimpse into how the invasion has transformed them and their connections to loved ones.
A Journey of Transformation
Valentyn Polianskyi: From Tailoring to the Frontlines
Valentyn Polianskyi, 24, once found solace in sewing and poetry. Raised in the Kherson region after the loss of his mother, he pursued tailoring at university and later joined the 36th marine brigade. His life took a dramatic turn when Russia invaded on 24 February 2022, and he was deployed to Mariupol, a city under siege. The devastation was immense, with countless lives lost and the city largely destroyed.
On 12 April, amid the chaos, Valentyn learned that his girlfriend was pregnant just before he was captured. For the next three years, he endured brutal treatment in captivity, where starvation and torture were rampant. “It’s very hard to talk about captivity,” he reflects, revealing the psychological scars that linger. Upon returning home, he faced the challenges of reconnecting with his fiancée and their child, struggling with feelings of aggression and isolation. “I can’t find anyone I trust to get help,” he admits, yet he channels his experiences into poetry and supporting fellow former prisoners.
Henadii Udovenko: A Builder Turned Commander
Henadii Udovenko, 53, was once a successful builder, but the morning of the invasion changed everything. “I had already decided I would enlist,” he recalls. Initially fearful of combat, he soon discovered a sense of strength and camaraderie within the military. Over time, he rose to command a unit, facing significant challenges, including losing a leg in battle.
Despite his injuries, Henadii returned to the frontlines, feeling a greater responsibility towards his comrades than his family. His experiences have deepened his relationship with his wife, although he acknowledges the strain that the war has placed on many couples. “There are huge misunderstandings between Ukrainian men and women,” he explains, highlighting the emotional distance that can arise in such turbulent times.
Denys Monastyrskyy: Embracing the Call of Duty
Denys Monastyrskyy, 29, known for his skills as a sniper and weapons trainer, joined the army at 17 after the annexation of Crimea. He vividly recalls the moment he was injured when shrapnel severed two of his fingers. “I felt an intense burn,” he says, reflecting on the fear of losing his ability to pursue his passion for sports. His resolve only strengthened as he fought to protect his homeland.
With the full-scale invasion, Denys felt the pull to return to military service, driven by a desire to confront the enemy that had already taken so much from him. “Ukrainians never give up,” he asserts, despite the toll the conflict has taken on his personal life. “War gives you a commonality as men,” he notes, pointing to the bonds forged through shared experiences, even as it complicates relationships with women and children.
Masi Nayyem: A Lawyer’s Journey from Peace to Conflict
Masi Nayyem, 41, is a lawyer who found himself called to duty just as war erupted. With a background as a paratrooper, he rushed to the frontlines, driven by a sense of duty to his country. “It’s time to be a man,” he declared, despite his aversion to violence. His journey led to serious injuries and a deepened commitment to supporting fellow veterans through his legal aid centre, Pryncyp.
Masi emphasises the importance of addressing the psychological wounds left by war. “It’s like when you are stabbed with a knife and you aren’t supposed to take the knife out,” he explains, highlighting the need for mental health support in a society that struggles to embrace such resources.
Alex Tomkin: Finding Strength Through Adversity
At 35, Alex Tomkin transitioned from being a DJ to an active-duty soldier after being unexpectedly drafted. Initially apprehensive about military life, he has since discovered a newfound confidence and resilience. “The army has changed me,” he shares, acknowledging how the experience has reshaped his perceptions of masculinity and relationships.
The distance from women during his service has shifted his understanding of intimacy and connection. “You start to notice beauty in ways you didn’t before,” he reflects. Despite the challenges of reconciling his wartime experiences with civilian life, Alex sees clarity in what he desires from future relationships, seeking deeper connections rather than fleeting encounters.
Why it Matters
The narratives of these five men encapsulate the complex realities faced by many Ukrainian soldiers and their families amidst ongoing conflict. As they navigate the physical and emotional scars of war, their stories serve as poignant reminders of the resilience of the human spirit. These experiences not only highlight the individual transformations that occur in times of crisis but also underscore the communal struggle to maintain connections and rebuild lives in the aftermath of devastation. Understanding their journeys is crucial for fostering empathy and support for those affected by the realities of war, both in Ukraine and beyond.
