In a candid Instagram post, Brooklyn Beckham, the eldest son of the famous Beckham clan, revealed that he “did not want to reconcile” with his family. This highly publicised family feud shines a spotlight on a common issue that many families face – estrangement.
Family therapists explain that there are typically three main reasons why parents and children become estranged: abuse, new partners, and irreconcilable differences over morals, values and beliefs. It appears that at least two of these factors were at play in the Beckham family’s ongoing conflict.
According to experts, Brooklyn felt that his parents were “endlessly trying to ruin” his relationship and were preoccupied with “performative social media posts, family events and inauthentic relationships.” This sentiment echoes the experiences of many who feel controlled or heavily criticised by their families.
While the Beckhams may seem to lead a “unicorn life” of fame and fortune, family estrangement is far more common than one might assume. Research shows that at least one in five UK families have experienced it, with figures in the US finding that 10% of mothers were estranged from at least one adult child.
Therapists emphasise that the path to healing such rifts lies in sensitive communication and empathy, rather than quick judgements. “A lot of estranged parents are very well-intended, but don’t understand that their intentions didn’t create the impact for their child to feel loved or supported or included,” explains counsellor Becca Bland.
However, if one side continues to deny the other’s perspective, then estrangement may be the healthiest option. As psychologist Lucy Blake notes, “no two estrangements are the same,” and the decision to cut off contact should not be seen as a one-size-fits-all solution.
The Beckham saga serves as a reminder that family conflicts, though highly publicised in this case, are more prevalent than many realise. By understanding the complexities involved, therapists hope to guide families towards more constructive resolutions, whether that means rebuilding bridges or accepting the need for distance.
