As the cost of living escalates, more couples find themselves stuck in the same household long after their romantic ties have unraveled. This phenomenon, known as “separation under the same roof” (SUSR), highlights the financial barriers preventing many from moving on, as evidenced by a growing number of couples who remain together out of necessity rather than choice.
The Emotional Toll of Stagnation
Take the case of Mary-Ann and Bill, whose relationship began deteriorating long before their eventual separation. The couple had been living apart in the same home for years, with separate bedrooms marking the emotional distance between them. What began as a practical solution to Mary-Ann’s discomfort with Bill’s hot flushes evolved into a situation where intimacy faded, and disagreements became more frequent. Despite their clear separation, financial constraints kept them tethered to one another, leading to a strained coexistence that lasted for months.
By late 2025, despite recognizing their marriage had ended, Mary-Ann proposed moving out while the family home was prepared for sale. However, Bill’s refusal to cover the mortgage while she rented elsewhere forced them into a prolonged standoff. “I was annoyed but I just wanted to take the path of least resistance,” she reflected on their predicament.
This scenario is not unique. Increasingly, couples are finding that financial realities, rather than emotional connections, dictate their living arrangements. Data from the federal circuit and family court of Australia indicates that the number of divorcing couples living under the same roof has climbed from 15% in 2020-2021 to 19% in 2024-2025.
The Cost of Living Crisis and Its Impact on Relationships
Elisabeth Shaw, a clinical psychologist and CEO of Relationships Australia New South Wales, points to the cost of living as a central factor in this trend. “Affordability and the lack of available housing stock create a vortex of misery for couples,” she explains. Nearly one-third of Australians acknowledge that financial pressures are straining their relationships, making it the leading cause of discord, according to recent research by Relationships Australia.
The situation is exacerbated by soaring property prices, which complicate decisions around divorce. University of Sydney economists have found that the rising cost of housing often prevents couples from separating, as the financial implications of maintaining two households become untenable. “When you have higher house prices, it’s more costly to run two households, so you’re more likely to stay in one household,” explains Dr. Luke Hartigan.
Navigating Conflict in Close Quarters
Living under one roof post-separation often leads to conflict. Couples like Robert and Jane, who sought counselling after eight months of cohabitation, found their situation increasingly untenable. The couple fought frequently, and Jane often found herself in tears. “They didn’t have enough money to buy two homes, and even renting was a stretch,” Shaw recounts, revealing the emotional strain that accompanied their financial limitations.
Tensions can escalate over mundane issues, from who does the dishes to the temperature of the home. Tara Houseman, a family law specialist, describes how everyday disagreements can become flashpoints in an already fraught living situation. “We had clients who would turn the lights on and off in the hallway as a form of passive aggression—it’s the little things that can really add up,” she noted.
As one partner may begin dating again, the situation can become drastically more complicated. Shaw warns that this can lead to excruciating circumstances, particularly for children who witness the emotional fallout. The need for stability during such transitions often keeps couples together longer than they would otherwise choose.
The Hidden Dangers of Staying Together
For some individuals, particularly women, remaining in the same home as an abusive partner adds a layer of complexity to the situation. Financial constraints can trap them in harmful environments. Sally Renfrey, a financial counsellor, highlights the dire choices many women face: “On an income support payment, it’s virtually impossible to find an affordable rental.”
One woman shared her harrowing experience of escalating violence and repeated attempts to leave, only to be drawn back by financial pressures. “I just couldn’t afford to live,” she lamented. Renfrey adds that uncertainty regarding property assets complicates matters further. Without clarity on what each partner can afford post-separation, many choose to remain together, fearing the financial implications of breaking free.
Finding a Way Forward
Mary-Ann and Bill’s situation exemplifies the complex dynamics at play in separations under one roof. While they managed to maintain a semblance of civility for a time—working together to prepare their home for sale—the strain of their unresolved relationship ultimately proved too much. “It was business as normal,” Mary-Ann noted, but her patience ran thin, and she moved out six weeks before the settlement.
Why it Matters
The trend of separation under the same roof highlights a troubling intersection of emotional and financial realities in contemporary relationships. As the cost of living continues to rise, more couples may find themselves trapped in unsatisfactory arrangements, unable to afford the freedom of separation. This phenomenon not only impacts the individuals involved but also has broader implications for family dynamics and societal structures. Addressing the root causes of these financial pressures is essential for fostering healthier relationships and ensuring that individuals can make choices that promote their well-being and safety.
