Jules Von Hep and his partner, Mark Beverlo, have been on a quest to expand their family since 2020, confronting the daunting challenges of surrogacy as a gay couple. As they turn to Mexico for assistance, their story shines a light on the complexities and ethical issues surrounding international surrogacy, particularly in the context of LGBTQ+ families.
The Emotional and Financial Toll of Surrogacy
For many, the dream of parenthood is an accessible path, but for Jules Von Hep, it has been an arduous journey filled with emotional and financial hurdles. He has long understood that to achieve his dream of having a biological child, surrogacy would be necessary—a decision that has dictated not only his aspirations but also his career choices.
“Surrogacy has always been the route I aimed for, and that has shaped how I’ve lived my life, ensuring I saved enough for the process,” Von Hep shared. The couple began their journey in 2020, engaging with a fertility clinic where they faced escalating costs—from £1,000 for initial consultations to £13,000 for creating embryos, including a failed attempt.
After signing up with a surrogacy agency, they were confronted with a two- to three-year waiting list for UK-based surrogates. Unsatisfied with the slow progress, Von Hep explored unregulated Facebook groups, where hopeful parents pitch themselves to potential surrogates. Ultimately, the anxiety of marketing their lives proved too much, leading them to seek alternatives abroad.
Turning to Mexico for Solutions
With the ongoing war in Ukraine blocking access to one of the most popular surrogacy destinations, Von Hep and Beverlo found themselves weighing options in the US and Canada—both of which presented prohibitive costs, often upwards of £250,000. Fortunately, Mexico emerged as a viable option, especially since surrogacy for same-sex couples was legalised in 2021.
With an estimated budget of £60,000 to £90,000, they felt fortunate to afford the process in Mexico. Although the costs align closely with the UK’s non-commercial model, Mexico’s commercial approach provides a clearer framework. “The difference with commercial surrogacy is astonishing. Knowing that egg donors are compensated and that everything is transparent was reassuring,” Von Hep remarked.
The couple is collaborating with My Surrogacy Journey Mexico City (MSJMX), an agency that handles both medical expenses and surrogate fees. In Mexico, surrogates can receive a fee of around MXN$388,000 (£16,914). Von Hep expressed appreciation for their surrogate, who has previously carried a child and is using this opportunity to build her own business. “Her openness about her motivations was refreshing. It felt like a collaborative effort where everyone involved is benefiting,” he noted.
Regulatory Concerns and Ethical Considerations
Despite the advantages of working with MSJMX, concerns linger about the regulatory landscape in Mexico. The country operates under a fragmented legal framework, with only certain states permitting surrogacy. Critics have raised alarms that vulnerable women could exploit surrogacy as a means of survival, leading to potential abuses.
MSJMX maintains that ethical practices are paramount, ensuring both intended parents and surrogates are protected. They operate solely in “surrogacy-friendly states” like Mexico City, employing experienced human rights specialists to navigate the intricacies of reproductive law.
As Von Hep and Beverlo prepare for embryo transfers, they have shipped their sperm to Mexico, selected a new egg donor, and are poised for the next stages of their journey. Should everything proceed smoothly, they plan to remain in Mexico for three to six months post-birth to secure their child’s passport—a potentially complicated process.
A Final Attempt and Advocating for Change
This venture marks Von Hep and Beverlo’s last attempt to become biological parents. While cautious, Von Hep cannot shake a sense of excitement. He now encourages other couples grappling with fertility issues to consider surrogacy in Mexico. “It feels chaotic in the UK. The professionalism in Mexican clinics is remarkable, and the costs are comparable,” he said.
Despite the challenges, Von Hep speaks with deep gratitude for surrogates, whom he describes as “angels on earth.” He recognises the immense kindness involved in carrying a child for another, whether for a friend or a stranger.
His commitment to sharing their surrogacy journey stems from a desire to destigmatise these discussions, particularly for gay men facing unique obstacles in family-building. “We need to address the financial and emotional burdens of becoming parents. Opening up this conversation will ease the path for future generations,” he asserted.
As societal norms shift to embrace same-sex couples, the hope is that more structures will emerge to support their aspirations for family life.
Why it Matters
The journey of Jules Von Hep and Mark Beverlo underscores the urgent need for dialogue around surrogacy, particularly for LGBTQ+ individuals. Their experiences serve as a powerful reminder of the emotional and financial complexities involved in parenthood for same-sex couples. As society continues to evolve, it is vital that we create inclusive frameworks that not only support diverse family structures but also protect the rights and wellbeing of all participants in the surrogacy process.
